Today I dropped my oldest child off for his first day of school, ever.
I felt scared and excited for him. I wondered if we were doing the right thing. I wondered if all these years of homeschooling were the wrong thing. I wondered if the teachers would think I am an incompetent homeschooling mom. I wondered if I will be an incompetent public school mom. I wondered what of the 100 new-things-you-experience-at-school-that-you-experience-nowhere-else-in-life that I forgot to tell him about.
Pledge of Allegiance, shit. I forgot to tell him about the Pledge of Allegiance.
I felt so scared for him.
Then I remembered that I subscribe to the notion that we can be scared and still be really, really ready.
Countless times a year my athletes look at me with wide, frightened eyes and say “I am so scared” or “I am so nervous.”
I tell them the same kind of thing every single time. That’s okay. I feel nervous, too. We feel nervous and we are still okay. It’s all gonna be okay. If you didn’t feel nervous I would have to check you for a pulse. Congratulations, dear. You are human.
So, my day has gone on. His day has gone on. I will know soon how parts of his day went. I will know soon how very many parts of the day will not be shared with me.
And I feel scared.
And it’s okay.
And I whisper to myself. Congratulations, dear. You are human.