4 thoughts on “Beautiful on the Outside

  1. Courtney Davis says:

    I found you on TikTok and immediately thought we may be the same person! I am recovering from a nearly lifelong ED and sometimes wonder if I’ll ever beat this. It’s become such a part of who I am. I am also currently rebuilding (although, I like your word “renegotiating” better)a 15 year marriage after not one, but two affairs. My affairs, not his. The first was nice years ago and the second one we are dealing with now. It’s been a year and a half since the “crisis” and we’ve been in weekly therapy for a year now. However, I did therapy alone for many many weeks before my husband decided to stay and work on things. Unfortunately, so much damage has been done. Many people in our lives wonder what the heck there is to salvage but I am convinced this is worth saving. We are doing our best to start from scratch and not to continue the broken way we started. We have without a doubt done marriage completely wrong for 15 years…it’s effing hard to reprogram that. But, we are trying. Lots of therapy has taught me so much about myself and I have done so much hard work personally to find out what the real problem is. Now that my husband is desperate to stay together, I am finding it harder and harder to believe we’ll ever be what each other needs. Role reversal at it’s finest considering how much begging I was doing a year ago.

    Your last TikTok about writing love letters to yourself has intrigued me so much. That could be so healing for me but I don’t even known where to begin! I came to your site looking for your book but see that it hasn’t been released. I am very excited to read your story, I feel sure it will bring me some hope.

    It has been rather therapeutic to write this to you. I hope this finds you well that you are encouraged by knowing your story is helping someone else!!! Much love to you.

    • Claudia says:

      Courtney, not sure if you’ll even get this reply, but your comment on Ashleigh’s post described my EXACT situation. I truly could have written this. Just wanted to say it’s so nice to know I’m not alone. Thanks for your story and vulnerability!

  2. Deon Macken says:

    Our situation is similar. I am a medicated mental health sufferer and my meds are becoming less effective. We’ve been together 25 years but married 4. I have a paralysing fear of rejection, and have got to the stage I rarely initiate. My wife never does. This just starts a circle that feeds itself. This also makes it difficult to express myself, New years eve I broke down and laid down what I could get out. Her response was if you’re not happy leave, I’m not stopping you. To me this was probably the most hurtful thing she has ever said to me. I took that as she would rather me leave than work though it. I’m struggling because that sentence has has triggered a severe depressive episode and I’m now at the lowest I’ve ever felt in my life. If you have any advice, Id really appreciate it

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