Ashleigh Renard and husband in Barcelona

I have been feeling down lately, like really down. I don’t know if it’s because the first skating season I haven’t been a part of is just weeks away from ending or because I wanted to be at a different point in my book journey by this place in the calendar year. Probably both. For someone who has measured her success by school and work accomplishments forever, 2019 was the first of its kind. My work was behind the scenes, so much so that it’s hard for me to see if I accomplished anything at all. I shared this with a dear friend yesterday (during an amazing card reading, @spiralpathcauldron) and she encouraged me to honor, really celebrate, all that happened last year that is not big or flashy, that is mostly known within my heart, within my home, within my body. So I could start with how my clothes are fitting me at last and how there are no longer dishes in my car from eating on the run, or how health issues that have plagued me for years are gone, just gone. Or how I finally found the courage to have difficult conversations that I had been putting off (stone cold terrified) for seventeen years. But, I’ll start here, with this guy. The growth we have made in our marriage over the past few years has been extraordinary, but in 2019 we took another leap, in communication, in intimacy, in maturity. In partnership. So, I’m celebrating that. In 2019 my marriage that was newly awesome became f’ing amazing.

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